In this world so focused on continuous upgrade, never ending improvement and self improvement, how often do you stop and think, I am doing well. I am okay. I am doing alright. Not as a one second half-pat on the back, but as a path and a way of life. We are so often told that loving kindness and compassion is the key. And we immediately take this to be something we extend to others. That is of course good and admirable and a wonderful aspiration to work towards, but how much time do we spend being kind and loving to ourselves? How often do we congratulate ourselves for our choices and decisions, for doing well? When do we consider things to be fine?
To embrace the rightness of everything, the okay-ness ofhing everything, and particularly the acceptance of self, is to surrender to the Mystery. What this means is that we allow ourselves to dance and be danced, to flow with what is happening in acceptance, in celebration, but also in kindness. A kindness towards self that says,
You have not danced so badly, my beautiful sweetheart
These words are a paraphrased quote from Hafiz's poem, 'My sweet, crushed angel'. They were spoken to me by my dear friend Billy of Temenos retreat centre, where I went for a week's solo vision retreat. We were discussing the Great Mystery, the contemplative life, how the Spirit's urge is to be drawn to the Divine, the source from which it came, like a moth to a flame. We discussed a bit about my life. Then he spoke these words, which I offer to you, and which touched me deeply.
'You have not danced so badly, my beautiful sweetheart', he said. And it created a space in my heart and mind and in my view of myself and of my life. Perhaps it was the care and love with which the words were spoken. They seemed to open my heart. They certainly opened a door. Shifted my perception. Yes, I thought! It's true! And in echoing the words back to myself, a kindness and tenderness towards myself emerged. As if I, as a spiritual being beyond time and space, I, as an elder, was suddenly looking in on my earthly existence, talking to and seeing the childlike, human me and all her faults and foibles and trials and tribulations, with compassion, lightness and a certain joy.
It was a moving moment which developed into a sense of rightness. A feeling that everything is and will be okay. It's alright. I have done well. I have made good decisions. I have not danced so badly. And I think it's the 'not so badly' which makes it all click, because it gets away from the need for perfection. It says it's ok to do a 'good enough' dance.
It accepts a margin of error, a humanity, and in so doing, plants the seed of forgiveness.
For when it comes to forgiveness, though we may be able to forgive others for many things, though we may even over time forget their wrong doings, their harsh words or deeds, the shrinking of our light, do we ever truly forgive ourselves?
Consider the things you wish you had done or had not done, or done better. Consider the things you hold yourself responsible for – often when it was never your responsibility. The decisions you wish you could go back and change, or the outcomes that would have been, could have been, if you had made different choices. Much like that movie Sliding Doors, which shows how a few moments of catching versus missing a train can result in totally different outcomes in a life, we cannot help but wonder. What if I had moved my child to another school as I wanted to? What if we had gone on that drive through New Zealand? What if I had held onto that property? What if I had not sold that vintage car? (Now worth 6 million – true story!) What if I had gone off to teach and write and practice sound healing instead of first earning money for a decade and a half? What if I had gone into that e-learning business? What if I had made better investment decisions?
On and on we wonder, sometimes idly, sometimes more enthusiastically, and sometimes with great condemnation and angst. In so doing, we give ourselves a loss and get stuck in the past. We embrace the energy of not getting it right, and then this creates a fear of continuing this track in the future. So we become frozen. This is especially so in the arena of wealth.
In working with clients in the world of money, for over a decade managing physical funds, and another decade and a half managing wealth consciousness, I have found that people really struggle to get over a loss or perceived loss in their finances. It may be someone who let them down, a trade gone wrong, an opportunity missed, or a company liquidation. The moment becomes fixed in time, and time stops there for many people. They never get over that loss. Often, they never try again.
So the unconscious 'logic' becomes 'if I make a lot of money, I will lose it/be betrayed/go out of business'. Better to stay where I am and maintain the status quo.
To become unstuck and move forward a number of things must happen. The first and most important is to come into present time. We live in an age focused on distraction. Yet to do anything, to change anything, to connect with our power and presence and purpose we have to be in the present.We all know this, but doing it, requires daily, constant practice.
Cultivating being in the present is best accomplished through mind training - insight training, which teaches you to be aware of what is happening while it is happening. This is also an ongoing daily practice. Becoming aware of the mind's wandering, and consciously yet gently bringing it back to the present moment. It is good to remind yourself of the date and time and your location. Many times a day. As often as you need to.
The next thing to do to become unstuck is to become aware of some of the underlying beliefs that your mind has created in order to protect you from pain and loss, and to bring these into consciousness. Then, consciously change these beliefs to ones that support wealth expansion. This is not a thinking or realisation exercise. It has to be done on a deep level and preferably energetically. There is much instruction on how to do this physically and energetically in my Money Alchemy and Money Well books and Money Energetics audio.
Believe that 'all things work together for good' and you will bring it to pass – no matter what decisions you have made.
Write up your portfolio of bad decisions, could haves, should haves and may have beens. Take your time and do it well, pouring out every ounce of regret, anxiety, and condemnation you can possibly draw out of your system. See it as a poison needing to be released. Then burn the portfolio by the light of the full moon while screaming out your frustration at the stars. . Then take a long hot bath and open up a new space for the future. Set some new intents and make some new decisions.
The best decision, and the final part of moving forward from negative financial and other experiences, is the decision to forgive yourself, to embrace a wider perspective of your life with kindness. It starts with the realisation that you did the best you could have possibly done with the information and consciousness and ability you had at the time. You did your best, with the best of intentions. You have chosen well. You have not made such bad choices.
You have not danced so badly, my beautiful sweetheart. Say that to yourself. They are words for all genders. And as you speak the words, while you dance naked under the stars, allow the kindness and positive regard of the moon to shine over you with appreciation and humour. Feel the earth's embrace under your feet holding you in her arms lightly, firmly and with love, and allow the trees to caress you with their melody, as they too whisper,
You have not danced so badly, my beautiful sweetheart.
Comments